Monday, November 15, 2010

Little Blue House: La Casita Azul (Part One)


Show Opens: Little Blue House: Poem

The shade of blue
Was waiting for me
The walks at night
The loving hardship
You held my hand
All the way through
And there were cracks
Bugs in the shadows
Far away dreams
A Regime hiding
But getting closer
Was sanctuary
The land, my mother
The shade of Blue
Was Home to me...

1st Song: Satie


I suppose that most of you have heard of Cuba. The biggest Island in the Antilles but really its just a small place shaped like a crocodile in the middle of the Cariblbean. Wherever you are in Cuba you are never too far from the Ocean

I am from Cuba, a land where music grows like vine, the land of the Palm Tree. Now my land is more a memory than a reality. But memory has consequences like everything in life and my memories of Cuba are the consequences that have, since the moment I left the island, shaped who I am today. I remember a deep longing to express the feelings and melodies I felt through poetic word and of course dance and music. Something in the Breeze there can brush away bad memories and inspire dreams that can go further than the borders. I would long to be on the stage there and in far away lands, surrounded by foreign buildings and understanding other languages. But dreams, tropical shades and a people that seemed to have been made out of music were not enough to keep away a lurking dark feeling that no matter your age a human being always feels. And that is the feeling of Censorship. To feel it, you don't have to know its happening, a person feels oppression in the soul and so there were days I would wake up in the verge of tears without understanding exactly why. How could I, with the sun shining and a family singing feel like crying? Well...To simplify: Censorship
But here I am, In a foreign building, speaking another language... but still telling the story of my country, my people, the Cuban countryman. A man that could absorb the beats from the soil and mix the earthy beauty with his sorrows and truth to create joyous melodies that could reach far beyond the Bohio and into the hearts of all people.

2nd Song: Satie


Storytelling:

Dreaming of leaving Cuba and leaving Cuba are two very different things. As a child I would paint pictures in my mind of America made of films and movie stars along with cool sneakers, sunglasses Michael Jackson and so on... Also America represented my father. My father got the opportunity to leave Cuba in 1980 when Carter made a deal with Castro that all political prisoners and their immediate families could be exiled in the US. My father was a political prisoner, and he left during that time. However, my mother did not want to leave all her family and country, so her and I stayed in the island. She knew the heartbreak that came with being an immigrant. So I stayed, but I got to grow up in a City where the buildings are work of Arts and the beaches were obviously God's work art and friends and neighbors become cousins after they visited a few times and drank coffee. My grandfather taught me about all sorts of music and my grandmother taught me how to sing and my mother taught me how to love poetry and till this day still my favorite poet is the Cuban poet Jose Marti. I was happy bike riding around Havana and taking dance lessons and eating my grandmother's cooking but when I would hear Louis Armstrong, Billie Holiday, The Beatles and the Blues... I would think oh god I got go to where that music comes from, I feel Jazz I want to sing the Blues I want to share my love I want to share my soul I have to go to America!

4th Song: Satie

Storytelling:

Independence individuality and curiosity were growing along with my years. And a fire in me kept telling me that I did not have much time in the island that change was coming. And at the age of 12 I felt my destiny upon me i felt my future heating up around me and about to explode. So one day sitting on the wet sand looking out into the ocean. Resting from the imaginative water games my cousin and I had been playing. I sat there content breathing heavily feeling the warm breeze drying my skin and feeling the protection of my aunt and uncle sitting beside me. aware of the the beauty of the moment. Suddenly, the fluidity was broken and my body got stiff with fear and courage simultaneously. It was when I heard: "Glenda, we want to ask you something" I looked at my aunt and uncle as innocent as I could, as if what they were not about to ask was not taboo and I had no incling as to what the question could be. I was acting like a 12 year old child. "Glenda, would you like to leave the country?" My heart sunk from the heaviness of the moment. I knew that leaving the country meant that I could not come back, that I had to leave my family...and the sea. I felt trapped and felt myself get older reaching for the answer. I did not want to hesitate so I said Yes! I would love to. And I ran into the ocean to play with my cousin. My destiny was with me, it had come, and would never leave me again.

5th Song: Satie
When my father heard that I was willing to leave the country, he being an American citizen, said, would send in a request to the Cuban and American Government for my mother and I to receive Visas and be allowed to leave Cuba. That is of course would only happen if my mother consented. She did. But before doing so she asked me that dreadful question. "Glenda, do you really want to leave the country?" This time each letter in each word weight 10 times more than before, and the only answer my heavy heart could utter was: "Mami, I believe this is the right thing to do for our future" And I prayed to God no one else would ask me that question again...They did.
I was making a decision for us, that I knew was to difficult for her to make...So my mother left Cuba...for me.
This decision is one that tears the soul of many Cubans, because choosing between what one knows and the unknown, is a matter of Faith. And in the more immidiate sense is a matter of Love and Family. That was strongly the case for my mother.
She had risked being blacklisted and losing friends when she married my father, a political prisoner.
But leaving the country was another level of defiance and loss.
Mainly because of her own father. 


'Fool For Love'

Dear Tracy may you always Rest in Peace
When you handed me that play
You taught the meaning of Courage

Tears and a Prayer

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Again

And there it was but it is no more
and here it is but you can't quite hold
and in that moment like stone it felt
but as you glance back the story melts

And I am real but so it was
and as I come forth it will come back
To let you know that her form will last

Oh she knows better so she will cry
"I am the mother I am the past
I have been there but just in my mind
You have not noticed
our different paths"

And so I walk on my own direction
stumbling towards you with all my might
but its no matter
My liquid flow
Your Ego broken
Now is my turn...

Again
Again
Again
Again

Hurt me again
and justify
all that was felt
by going forward
the healthy way

Oh yes it happened but so it does
I have my years she has control
And so I step back into the darkness
Hoping that life could be a bit more

The love I gave you
You and your dog
Your dog with mother
Who would have known?

Not those who saw us walk down the street
Not those who saw you cry the defeat

She will come back with what she can
I will step back until I fade
I've no intentions on fooling us
The thing I've wanted
Be always Love

Monday, October 11, 2010

Wise

There are times...
There is us, there
Moving slowly
I see you when you see me
It feels like such a life
I touch I press I stay relaxed
Because its real and there we are
The tide is constant
The way it is
The change expected
So I won't fight?
I will swim
I will add more Ocean to the Sea
I will live until I die
Then...
The circumstances prick my soul
Oh, the way it is
Its just that way
So I won't fight
There is no need
We will, we'll die
Broke, broken...
With love sliding through our bodies
Goodbye my love
Time rules all that knows it

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Love and Crooked

What to do about it?
Nothing but just wait
Take along the usage
Put it but away

Calming down the tyrant
Whom is your best friend
They can't see your motives
Feelings gone array

So there are no answers
And nobody cares
Thank you for the good times
I'll see you someday

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Unsettled

Let your eyes travel around me and find the feelings
that are purple emitting their waves through my skin
and bones.If you become fixated in the Ora of nerves,
memories and ideas you may see the pattern that
holds the crystal encased pulses of dull erratic
sorrow that live inside me. Commencing at my gut
with a baroque base, is a mystical and Victorian
structure. It comes together at my collar bone.
This sculpture beats in me, beats to get out, to
escape. And I stir to give it freedom...Lucky purple
...I should say, for my methods will inspire.
Time, think, breath, invent, pace, write, drink,say,
laugh, cry, do, sleep, time... The words begin
to shape my emotions and the method cascades
through a thin tube and plants itself without apologies
into a page...
Now we are both free

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Dripping

The Substance magnifying
The Chirping of the birds
Calamity is near
Yet I can't really tell

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Love Faerie

Love faerie, love faerie, make True Lover come to me
when I sing a lullaby, when I cry myself to sleep
when the windows of my kingdom have been locked he'll have the key
love faerie, love faerie make my voice be like the sea
So seductive and mysterious he'll swim in and never leave
Love faerie, love faerie, may your wisdom be my peace

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Pass

In this moment I go
And I know I don't know
I can't tell you a thing
I just want to let go
In this moment I go
I can't tell what it means
Yet my tears will flow

If you see them fall down
With the gust that I feel
You might frown with your thoughts
You might think that this can't

In this moment I go
To where no one can see
Where the cascade will show
What this all really means

Now that all has been said
With my skin and my nails
I can look right ahead
And know that you may care
And if you care for me
Though our will is divided
While I pour out my soul
I don't mean when I say
When I say this to you

In this moment I go

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Un Dia de Cansancio...

...Y si el tiempo no cubre las canas
Y el amor con el tiempo se olvida
Cuando el tiempo se lleve mis ganas
que con eso se lleve mi vida.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Mama, Por Tu Cumpleanos

El amor que tu me haz dado
Lo llevo en un bolsillito
Y dia a dia yo siento
Que tu me das un besito

Hoy es tu cumpleanos
Y haz de pasarla bien
Te mando beso y abrazo
Pa que los guardes tambien

Cuando camino y respiro
Me siento muy agradecida
Mama, yo te quiero mucho
Porque me diste la vida

Quiet Enmity

Observed moods of turmoil uttered
In an elusive manner
Timid, frail senses emitted
Dubious though honest matters

Plain compliance, well received
Slight defiance, unimagined
Sadden thoughts go unperceived
In a disparate alliance

Within greenish fragile panes
My soul displays bare emotions
Yet somehow you have failed
To look in with lucid notions

When you walk in front of me
Guiding where we should be
It seems like you lead the way
But my heart controls this fleet

Prolonged Sickness
Trialed Life
Press me harder
I will fly

Do I hurt you?
Do you cry?
If you want me
Question why

You do break me
Everyday
I am hurting
But I stay

The panes have veiled without warning
Of the reason, of the cause
Thus your failure is congruent
With my failure to say halt

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Hollow

I thought they were a reflection
Something that I could be
My house, the insects, the night
Revealed that they were not me

There were facts they would not tell me
Such vacancy in their stare
Yet I knew that they were feeling
What my conscious would not dare

As I lay them down for dreaming
And tended to my affairs
What my eyes and heart were bearing
Voyaged into their heads

I could not avoid our contact
For my need of them was great
And I would devise their stories
For my thoughts to keep me sane

There were times the plots would take us
To a land miles away
The extent of those illusions
Kept us out of harms way

All in this world gets tired
And pretensions always end
For when the truth came to join us
Dry tears rolled down my face

“I am sorry that you are here
Where my history takes place
But my joyous thoughts are weary,
I can’t uphold this charade”

Though your pelt is made of plastic
While your entrails are not there
If he would come in and hurt you
I would kill him in my brain


Friday, July 14, 2006

De la Boca al Corazon

La comida de mi abuela
Sabe a yo no se que
Al sabor de mi familia
Y su llanto de mujer

Yo se que lloro mi abuela
Cuando aprendio a cocinar
Porque su mamita linda
Con alas se hecho a volar

-"Revuelve nina revuelve
Que no se queme el arroz
No pienses mas en la escuela
Y haz lo que mando Dios".

Por eso me sabe a santo
Tu caldo, pollo y frijol
Porque desde chiquita
Estas sirviendao sazon

Te conoci de vieja
Cargando taza y cazuela
Y no perdonan los ninos
Porque mi nombre es Pezuela

Pero no importa abuelita
Que yo en la escuela sufri
Porque tu cafe con leche
Me dio vida 'pa vivir

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Laberinto del Alma Ilusionada

Todo le cuesta a la Aurora
El amenecer tranquilo,
El claro despertar del dia
Y aliento 'pa trabajar

La Aurora no es general
Ni capitan tampoco
La Aurora es doncella mia
Que lucha por cana y coco

La noche es su padre ausente
Que ocupa sus suenos verdes
Verdes por la locura
De no vivir el presente

La Aurora es Juana de Arco
Mujer y nina a la vez
Persigue una causa oculta
Que nadie puede entender

No llores mas mi ninita
Que el Sol calor te dara
Para calentar la sangre
Y 'pa la carne tosta'

La Aurora desaparece
Pero es dificil olvidar
Su relevancia en el dia
Y su finura al andar

Te digo y te lo repito
Que la noche pasara
Y un dia, no muy distante
Belleza le colmara

Te quiero, no te he olvidado
Estoy luchando por ti
Para que despiertes clara
Tu rocio dulce al fin.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Nothing

I feel ashamed of needing
I feel ashamed of wanting
I run away forever because I took your help
So that was bad I know so because I spread my pain
I am alone forever so I wont breath your breath
I take away the calmnes of all the life I meet
I only give my sorrow in forms that I wont speak
I only speak of me because I feel so lonely
I wish that I could see beyond this sea of sorrow
That always stays with me
My chest concave and tiny
My legs skinny and hiding
My belly large and weak
My teeth disorganized
Cant smile or you'll see
My face a little fuzzy is what nature gave me
My soul remains in hiding behind this ugly skin
Alone in New York City
Trying to be happy
The only things I have that always stay with me
It's suffering and loneliness
It's all that I can give
I walk around so scared that I will never be
I loose all that I gain because I don't know me
My skin is getting softer and time is running out
Mother don't bother calling
There is nothing I can give
Everyone just leave me
And save yourselfs from me
My beauty gone forever
My soul lost in a dream
I just can't quite believe
Where my hand writes for me
I'm in a strangers home
Surreal like Dali
This is not art is pain
So run away from me
Alone just like Martirio
The white walls closing in
I can't be left again
But I know that I'll be
You left me, now you are
part of an ugly streak
"Alone alone all all alone
Alone... alone by the sea"
My breath is getting weaker
The white walls closing in